Groans and tears, looks and gestures, a flush or a paleness, are often the most clear reporters of the heart, and speak more directly to the hearts of others. We are subject to physical passions and contortions the voice breaks and changes, and speaks by unconscious and winning inflections, we have legible countenances, like an open book things that cannot be said look eloquently through the eyes and the soul, not locked into the body as a dungeon, dwells ever on the threshold with appealing signals. "For life, though largely, is not entirely carried on by literature. Robert Louis Stevenson on "Groans and Tears, Looks and Gestures" Researchers have found that the best clues to deceit are verbal-liars tend to be less forthcoming and tell less compelling stories-but even these differences are usually too subtle to be discerned reliably." (John Tierney, "At Airports, a Misplaced Faith in Body Language." The New York Times, March 23, 2014) "'The common-sense notion that liars betray themselves through body language appears to be little more than a cultural fiction,' says Maria Hartwig, a psychologist at John Jay College of Criminal Justice in New York City. 'Body language speaks to us, but only in whispers.'. "'There’s an illusion of insight that comes from looking at a person’s body,' says Nicholas Epley, a professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago. Law-enforcement officers and other presumed experts are not consistently better at it than ordinary people even though they’re more confident in their abilities. But in scientific experiments, people do a lousy job of spotting liars. "Most people think liars give themselves away by averting their eyes or making nervous gestures, and many law-enforcement officers have been trained to look for specific tics, like gazing upward in a certain manner. (Matthew McKay, Martha Davis, and Patrick Fanning, Messages: The Communication Skills Book, 3rd ed. As an astute listener, you recognize this incongruency as a signal to ask again and dig deeper." They could all mean 'I'm depressed' or 'I'm worried.' However, the nonverbal cues are not congruent with her words. In the example above, your mother's shrug, frown, and turning away are congruent among themselves. Nonverbal cues usually occur in congruent clusters-groups of gestures and movements that have roughly the same meaning and agree with the meaning of the words that accompany them. "The key to nonverbal communication is congruence. You believe her dejected body language, and you press on to find out what's bothering her. I'm just fine.' You don't believe her words. For example, you ask your mother, 'What's wrong?' She shrugs her shoulders, frowns, turns away from you, and mutters, 'Oh.
" reason to pay close attention to body language is that it is often more believable than verbal communication.